Russell Hays

Yesterday was the saddest and most moving day of my life. It was the day we said goodbye to our brother-in-law and Nicolas' Godfather Russell. He died on Thursday night in a car accident.

The horror and the shock of such a loss is still with me, but as I try to make sense of everything, all I keep coming back to is that God has a plan and I just have to wait and see what that plan is. As I drove to be with Sam on Thursday night, I worried that I would lose my faith in God, but it has only grown stronger. Russell is with Jesus and as his son Ike told us matter of factly around the dinner table on Saturday night, "Dad had gone to start his new life with Jesus and it will be his best life".

Why someone so vibrant and with such a big heart and love for others should be taken from us I don't know. He touched so many lives and everyone who met him never forgot him. He was always the one who made a quiet get together a party, yet when you spoke to him one on one, he made you feel like you were the only person in the room. You felt he listened to every word you said, and every word was important to him. You knew his whole life was devoted to God but he never pushed religion in your face, it just defined who he was.

His family meant the world to him and everything he did was for them. He may not have given them the biggest house or the fanciest cars, but he gave them the tools to get through a life without him - he gave them an unfailing belief in God. He gave them the most important gifts - unconditional love and his presence. We hardly saw Sam and Russell until November as they had been so busy with football. At the time I thought maybe they were crazy to spend so much time on sport, but for the rest of Ike's life he will remember that in the months before he died, his father loved him enough to put his whole life on hold to be able to help him play football.

I still can't see why Russell was taken from us and I can't imagine what the next family gathering at our house will be like without him. After Nicolas' birthday party Adam and I agreed that we wouldn't have another get together at the house until my birthday, but I can't imagine my birthday without Russell. The only thing that keeps me strong is the fact that the last thing I said to Russell was how much he meant to us and how much I appreciated him.

He took his role as Nicolas' Godfather so seriously that he called on the morning of Nicolas' party to see what he could buy him. Sam had already got Nicolas' present so I told him not to worry about getting him anything, but he went and bought Nicolas a Magnadoodle anyway. Nicolas loved it and it ment so much to me that he loved my son enough to take the time to buy something for him, and not leave it up to Sam to get him a present. Then after Nicolas' birthday party he went and bought ribs and BBQed for us so I wouldn't have to cook. We played on the Wii and just relaxed. It was just the perfect evening and I called him on Monday to say thank you. That was the last time I spoke to him.

My life has been so crazy and Russell's death put everything into perspective for me. I spend so much time doing things for other people and ever since Nicolas was born I have been trying to do less. Well, starting today I have got rid of everything that I don't have to do and once some of my other commitments come to an end I will not be renewing them. My family and being there for Sam, Ike and Lilli is my priority.

I cannot begin to imagine what Sam is going through. She loved Russell the same way as I love Adam, he was her partner in everything and her soul mate. Like me she felt accomplished if the house was clean and his food cooked when he got home, not because he expected it, but because she wanted to do it for him. She gave him his freedom to do what he wanted, but like Adam, when he was given that freedom, he chose to be with Sam and the children. He frustrated her at times as all husbands do, but he worked as hard as he could to provide for his family. Once Jaden and Ike were sitting in the back of the truck and Jaden was telling Ike that Adam worked all day and only came home when it was dark. Ike replied that his Daddy also worked all day but then he went to school and worked all night too!

I couldn't begin to sum up in a few lines who Russell was or what he meant to me, but all I do know is that his passing has left a huge hole in my life and I'm determined Nicolas will never forget how wonderful his Godfather was.

Nicolas' 2nd Birthday Party

Nicolas will turn 2 on December 30th but we decided to get all the craziness of xmas and parties over with and having xmas week.  As I type this I'm ready to fall in a heap I'm so tired, but it was a wonderful afternoon and Nicolas had a great time.  I'm not sure he fully understood what was happening though.

His birthday was a construction themed one so I made his cake look like a construction site.
It was actually one of the easiest cakes I've done.

Kirsten got Adison ready for the party with her sunglasses!
My friends from MOPS Kelly and Courtney with Kelly's husband David and Courtney's little girl Madison.
Adam's friend Jason's cute little boy Eli.
My friend Tiffany with her daughter Emily and Stephanie and Adison.  Adison cried most of the time as she really hates big crowds and there have been a lot of big events this week!
Everyone snacking and chatting
Rebecca and Erin and Rebecca's twins Nate and Wake.
Nicolas looking angelic when really he's a demon child going through his terrible twos.
I was overwhelmed by all the wonderful presents Nicolas received.



It was so cute to watch Nicolas as we sang for him.  Everyone gathered around the counter and he was so happy when he realized we were all singing for him.

When he tried to blow out his candle he kept sucking in not blowing, so I had to blow it out for him.
The cake tasted really good and all the kids enjoyed it.  Having a winter birthday is hard as we all have to squash in the house, but everyone gets on well so it's not too bad.  I definately prefer summer birthdays when we can get together around the pool.
Adison looking serious.
Nicolas was made to dance for his cake
Sam, Russell and the kids stayed on after the party and Russell cooked for us.  It was great to just relax and catch up as we haven't seen them for ages.
I had today to relax and clean up and then tomorrow my Australian cousin Andrew and two of his friends arrive for the night on their way to Miami.  I'm so excited to see him but the last time he saw me I was 30lbs lighter, had no children and hadn't had a month like we've just had.  If Adison sleeps through tonight I'll feel like a different woman in the morning, even if I still look rough!!

Christmas with the Woodalls

It was our year to get the kids for Xmas eve, so Xmas started early this year.  Nicolas and Adison had been given some special sparkle dust to mark the path to our house for Santa's reindeer (it was oats mixed with glitter), so Jaden and Kirsten sprinkled the dust on the drive so the reindeer would know where to stop.

We thought this would be the year that Jaden would be too old for Santa, but he was out there sprinkling reindeer dust and making sure the path was well marked!
Adison just watched and took it all in.
Then we had to set out the cookies for Santa and the carrots for the reindeer.  Leo was very excited at the thought of cookies left out for him, as this is the first xmas since he's been sleeping inside.
Then we tried to get a cute picture of the kids on the hearth.
It took several times and Jaden holding Nicolas down.
The kids are so funny because they were all asleep by 9pm and I was the one who woke up at 6:30am and got everyone up.  Will and I would never have given Mom such an easy time.  We were always awake around 5am and who knows what time we went to sleep!
We had saved up all year for xmas and Adam wanted to get the kids a Wii.  They only got a few other little presents but Jaden got the scuba storm trooper he wanted and Kirsten got the Littlest Petshop cat she wanted, so they were both very happy.
Santa gave the kids lots of candy and chocolate but as Adison can't eat yet Santa gave her a rattle in her stocking.
Nicolas got a remote control digger and and aquadoodle and he and Adison got lots of wonderful presents from family and friends.
After an hour or so of present opening, the excitment got too much for Adison!
Adam played the Wii with the kids while I raced to church to make tea for their xmas eve services.
I'd got Kirsten the cutest dress and shoes for xmas but Jaden didn't want an xmas outfit. Our house was in total chaos so this was the only place I could get a picture of them but unfortunately the window was a bit bright as a backdrop.



We went to Woody and Stephanie's for their wonderful xmas eve get together.  It was great to see all Adam's extended family again and as usual Woody and Stephanie really spoilt the kids with some great presents.
Ike, Luke and Jaden
Nicolas opening his present.
All the kids opening their presents.
Adison has been eating food for a week now and is still sleeping really well but unfortunately she was so constipated on xmas eve that all she did was cry and sleep.  We stopped on the way home and bought her some prunes which has helped a lot.  I'd never bought baby food before and it's so expensive!
Sam and Adison
Adam and his boys eating cupcakes on the swing at Woody and Stephanie's.  We had to get the kids to Lisa's for 6pm so they could have xmas day with her and then Adam and I went to church for the candle light service.  It was slightly strange to be in church after all our celebrating was done.
Woody, Stephanie, Ben, Erin and their kids came for xmas dinner in the evening on xmas day.  It was the first xmas day where Adam and I didn't exchanged presents because we did it all on xmas eve.  Adam gave me the most beautiful pink sapphire cross, so xmas day was spent cooking and then we had fireworks after dinner and Woody nearly blew up a passing car for added excitement!!

A Sleepless Night and A Fun Couple of Days

The last couple of days has been fun and also very stressful.  I felt amazing yesterday after 11 hours of sleep so we made a cake and cookies for xmas eve at Woody and Stephanie's and then Jaden made the reindeer cookies that Mom and Dad gave him.  

We had a day of 'creative play' - my term for no TV for the kids.  Kirsten never minds as she and I do all kinds of stuff together anyway, but Jaden hates it.  As I told him, he won't remember the fact he watched TV all day when he's older, but he will remember a day painting, playing and baking.  Luckily for him his friend Garrett came to stay the night so he has someone to play with.  

Adam opened all his presents and seemed to love them, although I always feel weird because I'm basically using his money to buy his gifts! 

We watched a movie last night with the kids after Nicolas and Adison went to bed and then it began - 2 hours of putting Nicolas back in bed.  One of my friends told me it would only take 3 days of doing it before he stayed in bed, and I nearly said 'I doubt it', but I hoped we could break Nicolas, but no such luck.  He finally went to sleep because Adam sat in the chair in his room and yelled at him everytime he tried to get out of bed.  

Adison ate sweet potato and banana yesterday and was just a little angel.  She is sleeping so much better now she's eating.  I think she would have slept from 9pm to 7am but at 2am I heard Nicolas crying through the baby monitor.  He was crawling around the house crying pathetically.  Adam had put tape around the bottom of the sleeping bag he sleeps in so that his legs were scrunched up, in the hope it would stop him walking, but he still managed to crawl.  He is one determined little boy!  After trying to get him go back to bed for about 30 minutes Adam finally gave up and Nicolas crawled into our room and fell asleep next to the bed.  To make things even more fun, my hip had started to hurt before I went to bed and by the time Nicolas woke us up I couldn't put any weight on my leg.  The whole situation was so crazy that all we could do was try to laugh about it.

My hip still really hurts today but I can limp on it.  Being a Mom makes you strong because with 5 kids today and xmas dinner to prepare for, there is nothing I can do, I just have to laugh and get on with it.  The kids have been great and having a new kid here has stopped them fighting and they have played really well.  They've done lots of pictures, including huge paintings.  It's always a struggle to get Jaden to do something other than watch TV but he always enjoys it once he stops moaning.



Adison just hangs out and watches all the craziness and my new resolution is to not stress about mess and just have fun with the kids.  I'm being very successful as you can see from the mess above!